How to Throw a Bomb Ass Picnic, Yo

Yo, are you looking to throw an illin’ picnic that’ll make all yo homies and bitches jump out their socks and say, “DAAAMMMMMMNNN!?” Hell’s yeah you are – cuz every sucka who gives a what about summer knows that eating mad good food in a beautiful-as-fuck outdoor park is the mother effin SHIZZZ!

But yo, check it – no gangsta wants to go to some lame ass picnic that ain’t been properly prepared. That’s why you need to follow these ballin’ tips to deliver a picnic like a P-I-M-P!

Where Dat Food At?

A picnic without food? Aw hell no! You wanna bring out them peeps, you gotta be servin up a MAD menu, yo. And don’t forget, killah, presentation counts! Follow these food tips…then just sit back and wait for all them accolades to rain down on ya:

  • Cut dem sandwiches diagonally, son
  • That lemonade betta be fresh squeezed
  • Ants on a mother fuckin’ log
  • Dill in dat potato salad
  • JELLLOOO!!!

Don’t Scrimp on the Party Favors

A mad decent menu is great, but you gotta go the extra mile to set  dat proper mood of frivolity. That’s why you gotta bling out that picnic with hella party decorations and favors! Here’s a few suggestions:

  • Plaid napkins
  • Paper hats
  • Them Hawaiian lei thingies
  • Mad kazoos

Sack Races, Bitches

Every picnic has GOTS to have party games, ya heard? And outta all the games out there, that mad crazy sack race is the ONE AND ONLY! Whether you a little shorty or fuckin’ Snoop Dogg himself, everyone loves hopping around a field in a goofy ass potato sack.

So, check it – that sack race is gonna be there, end of story. Other games you can pepper in throughout the festivities include:

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4 Responses to How to Throw a Bomb Ass Picnic, Yo

  1. Pingback: Donnie’s Tiny Hats for Vermin and Rats |

  2. Xedan says:

    Sounds like something that should go on Uncyclopedia

  3. Pingback: How to Walk Around Like You Own the Place |

  4. Pingback: The Dark Side Of The U.S. Presidency |

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