List of Oompa-Loompa Employee Discharges From Wonka Factory

Name: Glowbo

  • Reason for discharge: stole Fizzy Lifting Drink
  • Date of employment: 1974 to 1975
  • Current location: VP of Slugworth Industries

Name: Fluffet

  • Reason for discharge: pushed a fat kid into the chocolate river
  • Date of employment: 1976 to 1978
  • Current location: incarcerated at Rikers Island Maximum Security Prison

Name: Smudgie

  • Reason for discharge: couldn’t sing; messed up choreography of dance number
  • Date of employment: 1978 o 1978
  • Current location: “Senior Elf” at Santa’s Happy Village in Des Moines. Iowa

Name: Poofer

  • Reason for discharge: embezzled cocoa beans
  • Date of employment: 1977 to 1982
  • Current location: out on probation, serves as a consultant for Nestle

Name: Winx

  • Reason for discharge: When asked to work on Saturday, flipped off Mr. Wonka
  • Date of Employment: 1996 to 1998
  • Current Location: Professional skateboarder

Name: Uzzie

  • Reason for discharge: Improperly touching a guest during de-juicing process
  • Date of employment: 1971 to 1971
  • Current Location: Deceased

Name: Zumph

  • Reason for discharge: sex with goose
  • Date of employment: 1985 to 1988
  • Current location: returned to Loompaland, where animal husbandry laws are more lax

If you liked this, then other humor blog posts you may like include:

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Lists, Parody and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to List of Oompa-Loompa Employee Discharges From Wonka Factory

  1. Pingback: How to Prove You’re From the Future (According to Movies) |

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s