Minutes From Last Week’s Meeting of the Hats

Meeting was called to order at 6:00 p.m. on the floor of the bedroom closet.

Attendees Present:

Attendees Absent:

Chairman’s Report:

Top Hat extends congratulation to all hats present for their commitment and past performance in adorning Ted’s head. Motion by Chairman to name Beanie “Hat of the Month” based on merits and performance achieved at last week’s ski trip to Vail. Motion seconded and passed without dissent.

Treasurer’s Report:

Burger King Crown reports a 20 percent increase in year-to-date hat usage by Ted. Treasurer attributes this favorable gain in cranial coverage to Ted’s receding hairline.


Top Hat addresses last month’s Spring cleaning, stating that Santa Hat and Fishing Hat remain the only hats from Ted’s wardrobe to be let go. Chairman assures no more layoffs are scheduled for the near future.

Fedora reminds Board of this month’s upcoming Cinco de Mayo Party at Ted’s office. Sombrero is asked to represent the Board with integrity and poise. Sombrero reassures presence will be comical, yet tasteful.

Motion by Beret to have the Board publicly recognize Lady Gaga for her continued efforts to both raise awareness for and advance the field of hat wearing. Motion seconded and passed without dissent.

Motion by Fedora to further discuss talent of Lady Gaga and take break to watch latest music video online. Motion seconded and passed without dissent.

Music video interrupted by Tin Foil Hat (non-member). Hunter’s Cap called in to remove non-member due to erratic behavior and physical threats. Motion by Baseball Hat to place Tin Foil Hat on administrative leave pending psychiatric evaluation. Motion seconded and passed without dissent.


The meeting adjourned at 7:00 p.m.


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5 Responses to Minutes From Last Week’s Meeting of the Hats

  1. Tali Grass says:

    you’re so funny. everytime. i swear. i don’t know if you remember, but in one comment you replied that i had an awesome name…
    anyway, you should really write for television or movies. you make this all up yourself?

  2. Pleated Jeans says:

    wow, that’s literally the nicest comment I’ve ever gotten. thanks so much for the feedback! Yes, I write all of these myself. It’s a labor of love, so it’s nice to know my writing is actually making people laugh.

    Oh, and of course I remember you, Tali.

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