Monthly Archives: January 2010

Kids, Grandpa’s Gone Away Forever to Live on a Farm

Kids, come here – we have some bad news for you. You remember how last year your mother and I made the decision to take your dog, Muffin, out to that farm in the country so he could have more … Continue reading

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Mad Scientist Career Outlook Profile

Mad scientists apply the principles of science and mathematics in an attempt to bring a myriad of evil, self-promoting schemes to fruition. While the ultimate goal of a mad scientist may be world domination, other, lesser career aspirations may include … Continue reading

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How to Give Up on Your Dreams and Just be Average

When we are young, we all have dreams about the future. Perhaps you wanted to be a doctor, or an actress, or even a famous writer. Thankfully, by the time most of us grow up, we realize how incredibly intangible … Continue reading

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Love Connection in the Medieval Dungeon

Hey Alphonse, buddy, I know you just got back from the iron maiden and everything, but will you stop moaning in agony for two seconds and listen to me? You see that lady over there that they’ve got chained to … Continue reading

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Puppies-for-Guns Campaign Brings End to 100-Year Gang War

When Mayor Bloomberg announced his plans to curb gang violence in New York by enacting a “Puppies-for-Guns” campaign last Fall, experts were skeptical that the city’s most notorious gang families in the city would “bite” at the opportunity to trade … Continue reading

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How To Be A Party Animal

Have you ever shown up to a party, only to be surprised that you’re not the center of attention? Do people seem more interested in chatting with their friends then being envious of your awesome party skills? Are you confused … Continue reading

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Money-Saving Tips for the Modern Superhero

Being a superhero is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling professions in the world. Sure, it may be stressful running around at all hours of the day putting a halt to supervillains and their endless plans for world domination, … Continue reading

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