Monthly Archives: November 2009

How To Become A God

Are you sick and tired of a power level that is not “all-seeing” and “omnipotent?” Have you been sitting around your apartment wondering why throngs of worshippers aren’t groveling at your feet? Are there people in your life that need … Continue reading

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Festive Centerpiece Prematurely Removed From Table To Make Room For Pillsbury Crescent Rolls

In a move that severely disheartened dinner host Kate Krieger at this year’s annual Thanksgiving dinner, the decorative autumn centerpiece she had placed in the middle of the table was unceremoniously removed prior to the meal in order to make … Continue reading

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Why I Am Thankful for Thanksgiving

1. Prime opportunity to discuss weather with distant relatives 2. Get fewer weird looks when wearing turkey costume to grocery store 3. Tryptophan finally receives saturated news coverage it deserves 4. The feeling of cranberry sauce between my toes 5. … Continue reading

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Great Moments in Thanksgiving Day History

1621: The first Thanksgiving takes place at Plymouth. The Indians are introduced to a number of Pilgrim “treats” being passed around the table. The item that made the biggest impression? Cholera. The deadly, murderous cholera. 1622: Petty bickering ruins Thanksgiving … Continue reading

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You Are An Evil Genius – Page 1

You Are an Evil Genius is Pleated Jean’s first full-length parody Choose Your Own Adventure novel (currently a work in progress). Whereas CYOA novels take the premise of “YOU are the hero,” Pleated Jeans prefers the alternate – and much … Continue reading

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Frown Town to Throw Pity Party

Local government officials for the hamlet of Frown Town plan to throw a town-wide pity party, according to a press report coming from the offices of Mayor McFuddy-Duddy. The party, which officials predict will be “poorly attended and probably not … Continue reading

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Dr. Skeletron, Will You Hang Out With Me At School?

Dear Dr. Skeletron, Hi. My name is Jimmy Ogden and I am currently in the fifth grade. I know you are a busy guy and all, given that you are an evil supervillain sent from the depths of hell to … Continue reading

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