Monthly Archives: July 2009

Should I Walk Into That Mysterious Column of Towering Light?

Hey guys, I’ve got a question for you – you know that towering column of light we’ve been staring at for the past half hour? Yeah, the one over there that starts at that seemingly random point in the open … Continue reading

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How To Dispose of a Dead Body

First-degree murder. Someday it will be legal (God willing), but for now, us “outlaws” have to keep things on the down low. Let me guess, right now you’ve got an ex-loved one dead on the ground behind you (it’s your … Continue reading

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I Think This Tunnel of Love is Broken

Uh, hello? Pardon me, Mr. Carnie man. I don’t mean to question the integrity of your fine traveling carnival here, but I’m going to have to go ahead and inform you that the Tunnel of Love is broken. No, our … Continue reading

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Thoughts About Insects

If my wife was an insect, she would probably be a centipede, because, man, she sure spends a lot of money on shoes. Sometimes I think it would be helpful to have the strength of an ant, and be able … Continue reading

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My Father, The Zombie

My father has had to overcome a lot in his life. He was born an orphan, had to work two jobs to put himself through college, and is allergic to tomatoes (which are in more things than you think). Also, … Continue reading

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Honey, the Hovering Black Orb is Back Again

Honey, the doorbell just rang and, well, you’re not gonna believe this. The hovering black orb is back again. Am I sure!? Honey, IT’S A HOVERING BLACK ORB! It’s not like I can mistake the gosh darn thing for the … Continue reading

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The Hidden Waterfall

The hidden waterfall is said to have magical powers. Bathe in a normal waterfall, and all you will get is wet (and maybe bit by a fish). But wash your body in the cascading falls of the hidden waterfall, and … Continue reading

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