Who’s Ready to Get Their Faces Painted!?

tiger face paintingIt’s summer, and I’m excited. Why? Because it means A TON of local carnivals are coming to town. And what does THAT mean? Well, it means that I’ll be strutting around in public with a SUPER COOL face painting, courtesy of the carnival’s face painting booth!

If you’re as excited about walking around in the hot sun all day with your FAVE animal emblazoned on your face, then here’s what you need to know to get the most out of your carnival face painting experience:

1. Make a beeline (i.e. sprint) for the face painting booth as soon the carnival opens. After all, the whole point of getting your face painted is to SHOW IT OFF to as many people as possible. The longer you wait, the less people who will see your awesome painted face, and the less time you’ll have to gloat.

2. When you’re running for the face painting booth, try to refrain from yelling, “I’M GETTING MY FACE PAINTED! I’M GETTING MY FACE PAINTED!” I know, this is a tall order, but trust me you don’t want to call attention to yourself. For one, it means you’ll have a longer line in front of you when you get to the booth. For two, you don’t want people looking at you until you’ve got something super cool painted on your face.

3. Know your options. Most face painters only know how to paint five things on a face – a monarch butterfly, a unicorn, a dolphin, a regular butterfly and a tiger. Don’t go asking for some weird animal like a rabbit, or a dog, or something. That sort of specialized thing is just well beyond the abilities of your average, run-of-the-mill face painter.

4. Choose which design you’re going to get before you sit down in the chair. Remember, this face painting is going to be on your face ALL DAY LONG, so you don’t want to rush the decision process. Plan ahead, and you’ll avoid being pressured into getting something stupid painted on your face (like a tiger).

5. If I am at your carnival, then I suggest not getting the unicorn face painting. Why? BECAUSE THE UNICORN IS MINE, BITCH! And if I run into anyone else with a unicorn painted on their faces, that copycat is gonna get CLOCKED!

6. Be nice to the face painter. Unfortunately, face painters like to yammer on while they’re painting. It helps pass the time for them. Now, you could tell them to shut up so you can sit there in peace and think about how awesome your painted face is going to look, but trust me that just makes them mad. And a mad face painter makes for a bad face painting.

7. Earn bonus points with the face painter. To make sure your painter really goes the extra mile with your face painting, do your best to butter them up. A good way to do this is to laugh at their stupid jokes, or compliment them on the dumb clown suit they’ll inevitably be wearing.

8. Shave your head. Let’s face it, the bigger the face painting, the better. A shaved head gives the face painter a heck of a lot more real estate to work with.

9. Here’s a fun trick: walk up to strangers so that they can only see the unpainted side of your face and ask them what time it is. Then, when they’re checking their watches, turn your head so they can see your whole face. Trust me, the look of surprise and sheer enjoyment when they see that other half of the face will be PRICELESS!

10. Face paintings can be itchy and oily, but no matter what you do, DON’T ITCH THE PAINT. It will smudge the design! And to really preserve your face painting, don’t  put your painted cheek on your pillow when you go to sleep at night. Also, don’t wash your face until the next carnival comes to town.

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4 Responses to Who’s Ready to Get Their Faces Painted!?

  1. ymbtgi says:

    I hope he’s a really good face painter so I can get a Spiderman mask or Gene Simmons’ Kiss face paint. If not, I guess I’ll have to fallback on a tiger since you already called unicorn…

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