Monthly Archives: June 2009

My Friend, “The Wizard”

Probably my best friend in the whole wide world is a guy I like to call, “The Wizard.” Of course, that’s not his real name (it’s Brad), but I call him The Wizard because he’s really, really good at pinball. … Continue reading

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How To Safely Roll Down the Side of a Hill

Hills. They truly are Mother Nature’s roller coasters. They go up, then down, then…well I guess that’s about all they do. But still, if you take away the spins, turns, loop-de-loops – pretty much everything after the first drop of … Continue reading

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Men, It’s About Time We Hunted Down the Swamp Monster

Men, I’ve had it with that swamp monster! We’re tired, because we’re too afraid to sleep at night. We’re hungry, because we’ve been cut off from our main food source – swamp algae. And worst of all, WE’RE BORED, because … Continue reading

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My Pre-Sleep Ritual

1. Put on my pajamas 2. Brush my teeth 3. Wash my face 4. Change into dry, non-toothpaste encrusted pajamas 5. Turn out the lights in the house 6. Knock ceramic angel figurine off pedestal 7. Cry 8. Grab another … Continue reading

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Robot Sex Slaves and Other Thoughts About Robots

My aunt calls the little thingamabob that scuttles around and vacuums her floors a robot. But that’s not a robot. That’s Lupe. I don’t think robots can have a soul. Because it they did, the good ones would go to … Continue reading

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Welcome to My Secret Mountain Lair

Ah, well if it isn’t the second and third most maniacal evil geniuses on the planet! Massive Brain. Intellibot. I welcome you to my secret mountain lair!  Did you have any trouble finding the place? Please say YES! It is … Continue reading

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Late Night Monologue Jokes

Yesterday a man set off an explosion in an Arby’s bathroom in Delaware, destroying a toilet. When asked what exactly he used to achieve the destruction, he reportedly said, “Two Arby’s Big Beef and Cheddars.” Andy Dick helped bring attention … Continue reading

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