Monthly Archives: April 2009

Fun & Games

My grandpa and I played the Silent Game all afternoon. And no matter how many times I challenged him to a rematch, he always won. It wasn’t until later that I realized what his winning strategy was: death. I think … Continue reading

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Yo Gran, Thanks So Much For the Shark Tooth Necklace!

Yo Gran, Thanks so much for the shark tooth necklace!! You are the dopest! Ever since that plastic ruby fell out of the eye of my skull-and-cross-bones necklace, I’ve been on the prowl for an even edgier replacement! And Gran, … Continue reading

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Excerpts From My Book Of Fables

“I’ll get there first,” the bear cried out as he ran blindly into the forest. The fox, on the other hand, took a moment to look at the map, and then confidently trotted along on his way. Soon enough, he … Continue reading

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How To Get Your Kids Interested In Sorghum

Anyone over the age of 18 will agree that sorghum is probably the coolest grain crop of all time. And while you likely enjoy hours of stimulating sorghum conversation with other adults at your local diner, church or weekly sorghum … Continue reading

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How To Avoid Being Turned Into A Stone Statue

It can happen to anyone. One minute, you’re sitting on a park bench enjoying a turkey club and reading the newspaper. The next minute, you glance up to see Medusa over by the pond, feeding the ducks with a loaf … Continue reading

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Another Good Surprise, Bad Surprise

Good Surprise: you get a reward for returning a lost puppy Bad Surprise: the reward isn’t a rabies shot (and you die) Good Surprise: On your birthday, you come home to find your home filled with friends. Bad Surprise: On … Continue reading

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A Day At The Beach

Nancy said she was getting too much sun, so I told her to tie her towel around her waist. “I don’t think that’ll work,” she answered. “Why not?” I asked. “Because the towel you brought is way too small,” she … Continue reading

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