We’ll Sue Anyone!

Are you tired of lawyers telling you your lawsuits are “frivolous” or “too out there?” Then pick up the phone and call the law offices of Cooper & Smythe, because we’ll sue anyone!

Did you slip on a grape at the grocery store and NOT get hurt? We’ll sue that store for all the grapes they’ve got!

Did your ice cream sundae give you brain freeze? We’ll lick Ben & Jerry in court and banana split the profits with you!

Does Blue’s Clues give you impure thoughts? Hey Blue. Here’s a clue for you…you’re sued!

Believe it! We’ll sue anyone! Don’t think you have a case? Think again. Virtually anything can be twisted into a semi-credible lawsuit…

Did another man’s backside make contact with yours at a dance club? THAT’S SEXUAL HARASSMENT!

Or maybe some kid called you a doo-doo head? SLANDER!

Or how about this? A guy’s face is so ugly it forces you to punch him in the mouth? ENTRAPMENT, plain and simple!

What percentage of cases do we win? 3 percent. That doesn’t sound like much, but when you call Cooper & Smythe, we’ll flood the judicial system with dozens of lawsuits on your behalf until we find that winning case.

Have you ever been in a sauna, and another patron is so relaxed he relieves himself, resulting in a golden fog of urine steam that infiltrates your nose, mouth and other orifices? Of course you have – it’s a case we’ve won before, and we’ll win it for you too!

We’re the most experienced golden sauna legal team in the country!

What are you waiting for? Contact Cooper & Smythe RIGHT NOW and we’ll get you the money you deserve. Even if you don’t deserve it, pick up the phone and call now! No matter who you are or what the claim, we’ll find someone to blame. Don’t make us SUE YOU! PICK UP THAT PHONE AND CALL NOW!

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2 Responses to We’ll Sue Anyone!

  1. Pingback: How To Get Your Kids Interested In Sorghum « pleated jeans

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